Friday, October 19, 2012
Today my hands are swollen and my skin is tight. The tips of my fingers itch, and I wish I could rip my nails off and scratch underneath. Other than that, I feel pretty good. Much of my spare time is spent researching. As difficult as it was to accept the lupus diagnosis, I have accepted it. If scleroderma is added to the list, I will have a new diagnosis of mixed connective tissue disease. That scares me. I have so many fears. My doctor was very upset and reluctant to diagnose me because I'm so young. It took her being 100% confident that I had lupus before she would make the diagnosis. We would always talk about it being a possibility during the appointments, and left it at that. Both diseases can be life threatening. My kidneys, lungs, heart, and other organs can be affected. Or, I can be treated with immunosuppressants and hopefully stop the body from attacking itself. I am currently taking an anti-malarial which we hope will reduce my number of flares and keep me in "remission" without having to deal with the issues associated with the immunosuppressants.