Monday, October 12, 2009

Bailey Part 6

I often feel ashamed for the thoughts and fears I had when Bailey was born. I can't believe I wondered if she would walk, talk, or recognize her family. I can't believe I spent the first several months of her life crying. I wasted so much important time with Bailey. I do still have emotional moments. Most of those times occur when I'm fighting for something Bailey needs, which is happening a lot lately.

It took time for me to stop comparing Aubrey and Bailey. I would think, Aubrey was rolling over already, or Aubrey was crawling already, or walking already. I wasn't being fair to Bailey. No child is the same as another. We work with Bailey to achieve these milestones, but we've made the decision not to pressure her. She receives therapies at school, which are important, and we work with her at home, but I have learned that I can't let it rule our lives.

Bailey and Aubrey have an amazing relationship. It is obvious when watching them play together they love each other so much. Aubrey holds Bailey's hands and tries to get her to walk. They sit together on the floor and play together with Bailey's toys. When Aubrey sees pictures of Bailey in the hospital she cries. Aubrey will teach Bailey so much about life, and Bailey has already taught Aubrey more about life than I ever could.

We will continue to face challenges and obstacles in life. I've been reminded lately of Bailey's challenges by recent evaluations and I've had struggles to get phone calls returned by "professionals". We will continue to fight for what she deserves, and she will continue to teach us to not judge others by what we see on the outside, and to love unconditionally. I couldn't imagine a greater gift than Bailey. We have two beautiful little girls, and I consider myself blessed.

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